...But In Everything...

The words danced around on my tongue again, knocking against my teeth, trying to escape. But again, they were locked inside. Frustrated, they turned to wage war against my mind. This was nothing new…it was slowly becoming routine. As I drove home, questions ravaged my thoughts until finally, in the early hours of the morning, they came to the same answer they had the night before: now is not the time. Tears flooded my eyes as sadness began to creep in, leaving only one question: how long…? It was one I could not answer.

The next morning I awoke with my heart still in a fog. Throughout the day I tried to push the feelings aside, but little reminders waited around every corner, making it almost impossible to ignore them. On the outside I forced a smile, but inside I was falling apart. I knew I couldn’t hold it in any longer, so I retreated to my bedroom as I fought back tears. Lord, why do I have to wait so long? Why can’t I know Your plan now? My heart was breaking as I buried my face in my hands and cried. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard.

As my emotions drained, and the room became still, a verse came to mind. Philippians 4:6-7 – “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

The tears stopped, and a new understanding came over me as those verses sank into my soul. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything…let your requests be made known unto God…and the peace of God…shall keep your hearts and minds…


I still ask questions – but I can live without the answers.

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear Your whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

And every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm
~Praise You In This Storm, by Casting Crowns