The minutes passed as I stared blankly at the computer screen. I could feel the gears of my mind slowing down, exhausted from getting nowhere. One hour left to finish three projects. I could do it. Sending assignments in late two weeks in a row was not an option…I was determined to finish. After saying a prayer, and asking God to write through me, I expectantly waited for words to flow. He had done it before, countless times, and I knew He would do it again. Right?
An hour came and went. Two hours came and went. Three hours…gone. And still, I had three projects to finish. It’s funny how foggy your head feels after 3:00am. I knew I was not going to finish anything by depriving my body of rest, so I climbed into bed. I had failed. As I pulled the covers over my head I wondered why God hadn’t helped me this time. There had to be a reason. Right?
There have only been a couple times in my life where I thought something and knew it was from God. Lying there in my bed, buried under the covers, I felt God speak to my heart. He reminded me of a truth He has been patiently teaching me over the last seven months. He said, “Not finishing your assignments on time doesn’t change who you are. Right?”
Ah! I understood. When I asked Him to help me finish my projects, I was asking Him to help me do something. But that’s not what He’s been trying to tell me. He wants me to BE His handiwork, not DO my handiwork. My worth in His eyes is not tied to my worth in my own eyes. Failing to turn assignments in on time is not failing God. Nothing I do makes Him love me more, and nothing I don’t do makes Him love me less. He loves me because I am His and He is mine. Right!!!
3 comments:
I can totally relate, dearest!
I love you!
This is a hard lesson, but a vital one! Finding out that there is absolutely nothing we can do to change how God thinks of us is a hard mindset change, but so freeing.
Cheering for you girl:)
This is a good, true lesson. That was definitely a God-thought. I know it sucked to get up the next morning and still have to do those assignments though, huh? :-)
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